Fathers...

Recently I completed reading the book Courageous.  I saw the movie when it first came out but felt the need to read the book as well. I am truly grateful that I have a ‘Courageous father’. Fathers in today’s society truly are a dying breed. In both the book and the movie the author provides some very interesting facts. This sent me on a quest to see just how much of an influence a father has on his family. For instance “63% of teen suicides come from fatherless homes. That’s 5 times the national average.” (SOURCE: U.S. Dept of Health) This is one fact that immediately caught my attention. It shocked me to discover that while teen suicides do occur, 63% of them occur with no fatherly presence in the household. The next fact really came as no surprise to me since I remember reading something close to it within the book Courageous. “85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. 20 times the national average.” (SOURCE: U.S. Dept. of Justice) If that isn’t a shocker to you fellow bloggers then this next fact shouldn’t be either. “71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 9 times the national average.” (SOURCE: National Principals Association Report) DadsWorld.com sums it up when they say “Children with involved Fathers are more confident, better able to deal with frustration, better able to gain independence and their own identity, more likely to mature into compassionate adults, more likely to have a high self esteem, more sociable, more secure as infants, less likely to show signs of depression, less likely to commit suicide, more empathetic, boys have been shown to be less aggressive and adolescent girls are less likely to engage in sex."

 

I never truly understood how grateful I was to have the father that I have until I finished reading the book. My father was willing to take time to make sure that I grew up with the understanding that even in the times when it seemed like no one cared, God always did. More importantly my father gave time to me, which is a very important factor in the life of a child. I remember almost all of the times my dad let me participate in “take your child to work days”. In one instance I recall that my job for the day was to organize some folders for him alphabetically. I thought I did a fantastic job; the only problem was I was organizing the folders by the first letter only, never bothering to look at the second or third letter to truly make the folders “alphabetically organized”. I also remember quite a few times that me and my father would go and get doughnuts from the local bakery. I would get so upset when some of my other siblings wanted to come along, because I considered it ‘our time’. There are so many memories that I have with me and my father. Everything from his involvement in my local Cub Scout and Boy Scout troop, and all the camp outs we went on together; to all the times where we would take the recycling to the town recycling area. My father taught me so many things growing up and before I get into the main portion of this blog post, I just want to point out some of the little things. My father taught me how to mow our yard by pushing the lawn mower with me because it was too heavy for me to push on my own. He eventually taught me how to mow with a riding lawnmower by letting me sit on the mower and just drive it around. That may not seem like much too some people but it made a huge difference to me. Eventually my father also took the time to teach me how to drive a car, and how to be responsible while doing it. I’m sure there were plenty of times in which I scared my father with my driving, and I’m sure that there are still times in which I scare him. It’s the little things that my father did while I was growing up that made me into the person I am today. One of the main points that my father taught me is actually the whole point and basis for this post. In both the book and movie Courageous, the main character comes up with a ‘resolution’ to set the standard for being a father. As I read I found out that the resolution did a lot more then set the ‘standard’, it actually is a challenge to all the fathers of the world, to not become men of this world, but to become the role models of their homes.

The first line of the resolution reads; “I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.” I believe that my father lives by this line. He truly accepts responsibility for my spiritual life and all the events that happen within it. It’s not just my spiritual life that he takes responsibility for; he takes responsibility for the spiritual life of my mother and siblings as well. In both the movie and the book, Adam (the main character) delivers this awesome speech in which he challenges an entire congregation of fathers to live courageously. One of the lines that stuck out to me was “You don’t have to ask who will guide my family, because by God’s grace, I will.” My father drove us to church every Sunday; I believe it was his way of making sure that God was a part of our lives at least once a week.

The next three lines within the resolution read; “I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.” At first glance it may not seem that my father is the spiritual leader of our home, as a matter of fact it may seem that no one is. But for me when I look deeper I can see that it was my father who was always reading books to improve himself, the way he lived his life, and his presence within the household. For those reasons alone I feel that he is truly the spiritual leader of our home. I know for me I’ve seen him through the tough times and the easy times. But no matter what I’ve seen him love my mother, protect his children, and continue to bless his family no matter what troubles we found ourselves in.

” I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.” All of my life I have had a respect for authority and would like to be able to say that I lived responsibly but still had fun. I know that respect and honor for authority can seem hard to come by these days but through my father I learned that the honor for authority will bring honor back to me and the man who taught me that lesson; my father. My father is also one of the kindest men I know. He will go out of his way for practically anyone. He shows compassion as often as he can (just make sure you turn those taxes in on time) and has given respect to everyone even if he doesn’t like them personally. Let me also say that many times growing up I have wronged my father. Yet all of the times he found out about it, his punishment was fair and just, but more importantly he always forgave me. I know that every time he apologized when he felt that he had been a little too harsh on me. Each time he would ask me to forgive him, sometimes it was hard to do, and over time I would. But that is my error not his. My father constantly works to provide for the needs of the family. Even though two of his sons have moved out, he still has a daughter (who is about to leave) and a son that live within the home. He is merciful man.

“I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.” Even though I may paint my father to be this perfect man, he’s not. He has his share of mistakes just like everyone else, but what makes him different than many other men is the fact that he learns from his mistakes. My father really does walk with integrity and knows that one day he will have to answer to God. Even though my father does not personally own this resolution (yet) he lives it daily, and because of that I believe he brings glory to God.

 

Dad,

            I know that your birthday is just around the bend. I’ve been thinking of what to do for it since I’m over 800 miles away and won’t be there for it this year. I’m sorry that I’m going to miss it, like I said I’ve been thinking about what to get you or what to say. I’ve had a few conversations with some of the young fathers here in the barracks and it hit me that I’ve never actually told you ‘thank you’ for the role model that you’ve been to me growing up. The influence that you’ve had on my life has shaped me into the person I am today. So dad I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you as not only a fatherly figure to others, but as my dad. I know that we have our differences sometimes, but that will never change the fact that you are my father, and that you are the one that helped raise me. I hope you have a good birthday and I hope you get the chance to read this before the celebration. I ordered something for you today, but of course in the small instance that you do read this before your birthday I won’t share what it is that I bought you. However I will give you a few instructions for when you get it. Please sign it and hang it up somewhere in the house where it can serve as a constant reminder for you and the rest of the family that you are indeed the spiritual leader of our home. Thanks dad for taking the time to read all the way down to this part, and thanks for being a great father. 

 

Sincerely,

Your son Joel

As for the rest of you in the blogging world of course like always thank you for taking the time to read! I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted but I’ve been searching for the right topic, and I think I nailed this one on the head for the most part. As always please remember that there is only 1Way2Live and that’s for Christ! Catch you all later!