From Civilian to Soldier

            So as many of you don't know I have decided to join the military! If I want to attend college I need some way to pay for it so this seemed like the best route to go. I wanted to attend college and at the same time make some money. Thus led to my decision to join the Army National Guard. Now other services look at the Guard as the pathetic group of the military. In defense of the Guard we are in fact not the pathetic group. If anything we are equal (or maybe smarter) with all of the other branches. Why? Because unlike all of the other branches, we not only have to swear to follow orders from the Federal government, we also have to follow orders from the State government. When I was sworn into the Guard, I was in the same room as a Marine and a fellow Army man. They only had to swear to follow the federal government. I on the other hand had to swear to the state and the federal government. This means that I not only have to follow federal rules, but state rules as well. Thus my job demands 2x as much. Why else is the Guard awesome? Well many people know about the threat of a Government shut down. Unlike other branches who receive their paycheck through Washington, I receive my paycheck through the state of Missouri. Which means I would still get paid in the event that the Government shut down.
             Well enough of me lifting up the Guard, I could talk about it forever. Moving on though...last Monday I took the ASVAB. For those who don't know what that is, it's a test that all applicants that want to join the Armed Forces have to take. I was nervous because I had no idea as to what was going to be on it. Let me tell you that EVERYTHING is on there. I mean we're talking; about 3x+2y=7 when y=2 what does x equal? Another question was like how do you measure the oil in an engine with no "dipstick"? (I almost lost it on that question) Now I never said the test was hard, it was actually rather easy in my opinion, it also was nothing like the ACT which most people said that it was going to be. I ended up getting a 92/99 on it. Which is extremely good! I then moved on to take the TAPAS. This was the weirdest personality test I have ever taken. Would I rather go to a party and be social, or go smoke some weed with some of my close friends? WHO ASK'S THAT?! There were 140 questions and I can honestly say some of them are not worth repeating. After taking the test and receiving my score on the ASVAB, I went back out front to the main control desk where I was told that I would be spending the night (which I already knew) in a local hotel. So they transferred me via van. Upon arrival at the hotel we had to check into a back room where I found out who my "roommate" was going to be. He was in the process of applying to be a U.S. Marine. Luckily we hit it off so all went well. The hotel had an exercise room, so we figured why not use it? I ran a mile in 8:30 and at the time I believe that I was 205 lbs. I would find out the next day that I had broken the 200 lbs. club and I was in fact 199lbs. So in my opinion the 8:30 was not all that impressive. I ended up going to bed at 9. We were told that the wake up call would be at 4:30, when we received our call it was at 4:15. The worst part was that we couldn't leave our room till 5:05 check in was at 5:15. We didn't pay attention to the time and when I glanced down it was 5:13 we scrambled (luckily we both were already packed) and walked fast down the hallway. We made it to the line in time not to be "late" but we we're not soon enough to not get yelled at by the guy in charge. When checking in we had to state our last name and "our roommate is here, and here is my key." Then we went in for breakfast, we had to eat in 10 minutes or less. I'm not a big breakfast guy but I know when I have a short amount of time to eat in to simply get food because I'm going to need it. It was powdered eggs, something that looked like bacon, and some sort of hash brown like material. Yes I said material. The fruit was the only thing that looked real. After that we reported back to the check in room and waited. Yes we waited. At approx. 5:50 we loaded up on buses and reported back to the M.E.P.S center where I had taken the ASVAB on Monday. It was here where we first were told where we would be for the morning and what we were doing. I was to report to the medical station. I reported back to the M.S. (medical station) and checked in using my right pointer finger (that is how you checked in and out of everything!) They gave me a folder with a single paper in it. The first thing I had done to me was get my pulse taken, at the same time I got my blood pressure taken. They put in 4 more forms and told me to report to a back room to have my hearing tested. So off I went and as I approached the room I could see 6 different computers set up on a rack. The woman in charge instructed me to go into this mini room that looked like a time capsule out of a Sci-fi. I was to take the seat on the far right side (there were 6 seats total, 2 of them were already occupied), she then stepped in and briefed us on how we would be tested on different frequencies, we were to push this button to make the noise quit anytime we heard it. Simple enough, I did well, there were like 7 different frequencies we we're tested on. She filled out our forms and told us to go report back to the desk that we had our pulse taken at, and from there they would tell me where to go.
           After waiting in line (there was a lot of waiting all day) I was told that I would need to go to another room and have my sight tested. Once again I waited until it was my turn, it was just like getting my eyes checked for glasses (which I do wear) it was a simple easy process, they also tested me for color blindness. I passed the sight area with flying colors. Once again I had to report back to the front desk, they told me to go to a large assembly area with desks. When I went in and grabbed my tube and pen (I was told to) I was informed by a fellow guardsman that it was time for the breathalyzer test. This is a test that is designed to see how much alcohol content is in you at the time of the application. I of course passed seeing that it is illegal for me to drink at this age. They waited until the room was full before testing us, they wanted to do everybody at once. It took probably 30-45 minutes before the room was full. After breathing in the tube and seeing that I passed I was told that it was time for a urine test. YAY! (sarcasm) I'm not going to go into to much detail with that, its simply a test to see if you are using illegal drugs or not. I was the first out of that room and was told to go around the corner and sit. From there a lady came up to me and asked if I was ready to give a blood sample. Well I give blood all the time so of course it was not problem. It took her forever to get it though. I had to help her remove the needle from my arm! After that I once again was to report to the front desk to see where I was to head next. From there came the horrid stuff that all guys dread. Men (and some women) know what I'm talking about when I say "turn and cough". Not to much detail there. From there I was told to report to the "gym". It really was not a gym at all it was more like a master bedroom with no furniture and tile floors. I was told to undress but keep on my underwear, they took my height and weight (199!!!) and then after more guys got in there the Head Dr. came in and made us to a bunch of ridiculous exercises. From there he signed off on all of our stuff. I happened to glance at his office clock and noticed that it was 10 a.m. He told me to report back to the M.S. check in desk so that they could make copies. After waiting in line and having them make my copies, I was told to report back to the National Guard Liaison. Once again I found myself waiting in line. Before they took my folder I counted how many papers I had, my folder had grown from 1 paper to 25! They said that it would take quite some time to do, so I went to the T.V. room and waited, it was already past 10:50. Lunch was going to be served soon. We all had name badges and on them were barcodes. When you went to lunch you not only signed in but you also were "scanned." Lunch was ok I finished it quickly and at the same time my recruiter walked in so I talked with him briefly and let him go back and talk with the Liaison. I went back into the T.V. room and listened to a bunch of Marines bash on the Army in general. I was tempted to respond but I didn't. I remained silent. I wish I had a camera when my recruiter came and got me in his Army uniform. They were shocked that here they were bashing on the very group that I was joining and I didn't say a word. The room went silent. I walked away with my recruiter and that is when I was told the bad news. The MOS (Military Occupation Specialty) that I had wanted was no longer available, the only one available was Infantry. Now don't get me wrong that job is awesome, but I worked so hard to get a good ASVAB score just to become an infantryman....NO WAY! He told me that he would see what he could do. I went back to a silent T.V. room. About 10 minutes later my recruiter once again came and got me. He told me that it was a good thing that I was smart, because they had called the Master Sergent. They had told him about my score on the ASVAB and that I was only a High School Junior. He was impressed and decided that the unit could use one more in the job I wanted. IT WAS AWESOME to hear that. They brought me back to the Liaison where they had me electronically sign some documents. This is where trouble struck. None of my signatures were going through. So we had to scan them in by printing off the documents. 3 of the 4 went through and we tried for 10 minutes to get the last one to go through but it wouldn't. they had to call the help center (who knows where it was located) to see about getting it fixed. In the meantime I was sent back to the T.V. room. about 30 minutes later they brought me back to try again, once again it did not go through. So the guy called the desk again and told them that it wasn't fixed. Yet again I was sent back to the other room. 15 minutes later they called me back they had scanned the signature in and got it to work! It was about 2:15. From there we went over my contract and they sent me back to be fingerprinted and have a final review. No problems with that and so I was to go back and tell the Liaison that I was finished and ready to be sworn in. The time was about 2:50.
         I was the last person that was supposed to be sworn in that day. Two others were with me in the swear in room as mentioned earlier. We waited and waited for the officer to show up only to find out that he was in a meeting and we were going to have to wait till he was out. I was warned that his accent was going to be hard. It was. Probably the hardest Spanish accent I have ever heard. I was supposed to repeat after him. That was sooooooo hard to do, I was having to think about what he said, process it and spit it back out. I then was to report to the final station where he would sign off on my contract. That took 3 minutes or less. From there I was to finally report back to the Liaison and tell them that my contract was complete. They handed me my orders for when I was to be shipped to Basic training (which is the 21st of June) . They told me to report to the central desk where I was to turn in my name tag and after that I was free to go. It was a long day. I left at 3:10. Crazy! I was so tired but the process was done! I have to report to drill this weekend but I don't care I get paid for it! I'm sure your probably thinking, well Joel was this worth it? I can honestly say YES, I feel great pride knowing that I am serving my country and my state at the same time. I would not change a thing.
                Well that is how my Tuesday went, if you read it this far THANKS! More updates to come!